As we look to the New Year, we often reflect on the mistakes we have made in the past and the changes we want to make in the future. Rather than the traditional resolutions to lose weight and quit smoking, how about a resolution for your marriage. Since a resolution is worthless without a plan, let's implement a plan to improve your marital relationship over the next year. 

One very worthwhile addition to your marital relationship is to routinely date. Most couples who come to me for help report that they have not been on a date for over a year. I'm not saying that dating will remove all problems, but it is a good starting place.  Dating allows a couple to exclusively focus on and spend time with their spouse in an enjoyable setting with few distractions (i.e. kids, computers, phone calls). My rule of thumb is that couples with children at home should date at least twice a month, and those couples without children should date at least four times a month. Set this as your goal for the year. If you don't date, gradually build up to my recommendations by the end two months. If you date per my recommendations, you will be making an investment in your spouse that will pave the way for other areas that will help make your marriage be significantly better by this time next year. (12/26/1999)