One observation I have made regarding children is that they naturally show-off for the parents. Aaron is frequently saying, “Daddy, watch this!” and then tries standing on his hands, does a summersault, or jumps on one foot. In the photo to the left, you can see a recent "showing-off" that I caught on film! Sometimes I watch, and other times I miss it because I am preoccupied with something that is usually of little or no lasting importance. Older children show-off as well when they say, “Watch me make this basket,” or “Did you see my high score on this video game?” Even adult children show-off for their parents. I catch myself showing-off for my own Mom and Dad on a fairly regular basis.

So, why do children of all ages show-off? When we respect or admire someone, we naturally desire their attention and want to bond with them. If we have a skill or talent that we believe our parent’s will recognize, appreciate, and validate we will show-off. How the parent responds is critical. If the parent routinely ignores or rejects the showing-off, then the child can easily fall into a sense of despair regarding their ability, their personal value, and their relationship with the parent. However, if the parent comments favorably on the showing-off and then follows through with words of both encouragement and love, the child will become more self-confident due to the validation from the parent, and the bond will become stronger between parent and child.

Some parents reading this may be concerned about encouraging extreme showing-off behaviors. If your child appears preoccupied with showing-off, make a conscious effort to spend more time assuring and demonstrating to him that you love him unconditionally, even without showing-off. Some children simply need more assurance than others, and the last thing you want to do is ignore them in hopes that the behavior will magically go away. So, the next time your child is showing-off, be sure and give him the attention that he needs, and you will appreciate it in the long run. (12/05/1999)

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